So
after living in this city for 3.5 years now, I've been able to explore a bit
more of the 'real' Paris. I've been able to see sights, cafes, bars, shopping
malls, you name it. Yet, until now, what has intrigued me the most in my
observations of Paris is the people. I feel only now, after so long, am I in a
position to make judgements and share with you my thoughts on Parisians. Note
to reader: This article is highly sarcastic and exaggerated, with sweeping
generalisations. Not all Parisians fall under these categories but sadly many
do.
Paris
is the most multi-cultural city in Europe. According to one Parisian friend
"there is a deep and hostile racial and religious politics that is trying
to redefine what it is to be French, with a strong sense of ultranationalism
amongst its moral leadership." Yet despite the large multi-cultural
population who have assimilated into society, offering hundreds of delicious
kebab shops, markets, hammams and spas, there is no doubt that the French
culture is still cemented all over the city. In my first year of uni my French
teacher decided to give us a 15 page essay entitled “La Vrai Parisien” (The True
Parisian.) Well, my honest opinions and observations were too impolite and
sarcastic to hand in on paper, especially to a teacher who is French herself.
So instead I wrote two separate assignments. Now I will share with you “The
Ugly Truth” (sadly without the eye candy that is Gerard Butler.) When I first
approached this extremely vague and self-interpretive task, I started asking
myself rhetorical questions, trying not to put on that annoying Carrie Bradshaw
voice. “What is the true Parisienne? How do they look? How do they dress? Where
do they hang out? Which clichés are true?”
The French have been undermined by hundreds of stereotypes over the years, generalising them as beret-wearing, wine-drinking, baguette-eating cigarette smokers. But as a whole they are much more than what meets the eye. Of course this perception was once created for a reason (and boy they do know a good baguette avec du jambon et du fromage) but they certainly were stereotyped as the world’s most touristy city and Capital de la mode for a reason! So why is this so? What do French people have to offer that the rest of the world can't? Most people would say culture, style, the word chic often comes to mind (another cliché) yet it's funny, because Australians in particular have this whole vision of Paris. Paris: the city of love; strolls along the Seine, 'selfies' in front of that bridge with the love locks on it, and of course the standard picnic photo sitting in front of La Tour Eiffel which is always overdone on Instagram.
Before
I moved to Paris I hadn't really spent that much time here. I came when I was
15 to visit my older brother Jack, who was on a year exchange at Science-Po,
apparently the best school in France (and according to anyone studying there
you aren't worthy if you study anywhere else!) I had also spent time on
exchange in the north, in Lille, which doesn't offer much more than cold
weather, grey skies and suicidal thoughts. Then this year, during summer, I
spent a bit of time in the south due to one of my best friends being from Albi,
near Toulouse. I met so many relaxed, laid-back French people, and thought:
okay, there is such a difference.
Obviously
I wasn't that shocked as all big cities are like this, bearing no
physical/environmental resemblance to that of the neighbouring country side
(not to mention the mindset of the people.) Yet, what I really want to mention
is the difference between Parisians and French people, because there is a
massive difference. French people in general are, according to my French
friends, arrogant (more than I had ever imagined), dirty, stylish (even in the
countryside), not as racist despite how they are depicted on Le Front National
and to quote my French friend "All French people HATE hipsters"
(despite what you see in some areas of France). Most Parisians also DESPISE
English speakers who can't speak French, even though most of them don't speak
much English. Perhaps fifty years ago moustaches were a French thing, but now,
being a hipster and a non-French speaking tourist is probably the worst
possible thing you could be, whilst in Paris. Not to mention the death threats
you will see on the metro, via stickers stating “Hipsters must die.”
East-Londoners coming to Paris on holidays, don't say I didn't warn you...
Clichés
aside what are they really like? Well funnily enough, I have, in my short time
here stumbled across the older French population, who still believe it's rude
for women to smoke outdoors, and who don't wear jeans (there is no such thing as
casual Fridays in Paris.) My first year history teacher that told me when you
need to go to the toilet you must ask to wash your hands ("Puis-je aller
me laver les mains s'il vous plaît Monsieur?") because apparently
requesting you need the bathroom with any hint of actually needing the toilet
is a NO-NO. But for the purpose of this discussion I am not referring to the
older generations. The generations like my history teacher, who don't own a
pair of jeans and never drink water from a tap (he's quote "Strictly
badoit!")
No,
I am referring to the current youth of today. Let's give them an age range say
(18-26) and a representative for each sex. We have Nicco representing the boys
and Nina representing the girls. When I asked my 22 year old male Parisian
friend (who, unlike many, shares my sense of humour) to give me a definition of
La Vraie Parisienne girl, without hesitation he said "La Vraie Parisienne
girl is a contemptuous anorexic bitch who thinks she's a
know-it-all." So now you have met
Nina.
Nina
is the typical Parisian girl. She is affectionate to males but never in public,
to maintain her façade of seeming aloof and mysteriously sexy. You will be
greeted with two kisses: one on each cheek, just enough to get a smell of her
alluring scent - but never three, she won't let you in that easily. And a hug
is definitely out of the question. But don't let that worry you, boys, because
she will probably go home with you at the end of the night. She is petite in
size, coffee and cigarettes help to keep that up (this is not a cliché it is a
fact.) She is brunette and can, unlike the rest of world, pull off a fringe
because she has an extremely good bone structure. She's intelligent, she may
wear sophisticated glasses (but never hipster frames - she's not a “dickhead”)
and of course attends one of Paris' Grand Ecoles, like Science-Po, because
let's face it, you're not smart if you don't.
This
is how she will make you feel, on a night out:
So
what about our typical Parisian guy Nicco? Well, according to the same male
Parisian friend who had a lot more to say when it came to his own gender, there
are a few different categories.
Category 1 - "Monsieur Right Bank"
The right bank conservative rich white boy who lives in 8,17,16,15 and 1st arrondissements. He is a guy that votes UMP, goes on holiday to Normandie or Bretagne. He studies Law or is in a business school. Is often a little bit racist (but says he's not because he's got an Arab friend.)
Category
2 - "Le Bobo"
The "Bobo" (bourgeois-bohème) is also generally rich but doesn't admit it and this is why he thinks he is a hipster. He thinks Paris is the new Berlin…He is often liberal in his political views and from the French Left Political Party. He lives in the 1,9,4,14th arrondissements.
Category
3 - Les Nouveaux Riches
Who is, as my friend describes, basically a cashed up bogan whose dad makes a lot of money but he has no education. He spends hundreds of euros in clubs on the Champs Elysées because YOLO and he is ridiculously pretentious. He usually lives in the 16th arrondissement or Neuilly-sur-Seine. He will study in an expensive Grand Ecole, despite his low IQ. He only speaks French.
Category
4 - Fantasy four
This category represents Parisian guys who are desperate to fight their Parisian stereotypes by being open-minded, trilingual, well-travelled and wait for it, smile and chat to strangers! YAY! I have been very fortunate to make friends with some amazing Frenchies who fit these criteria! Yes, there's hope.
But
back to my rant...
As
an overview, the youth are much the same. They believe Paris is the new Berlin.
They attend famous parties such as La Concrete, Die Nacht, Wanderlust and La
Villette Enchantée. The new hype places are "conceptual." I've been
out a few times since I arrived in Paris and despite the different atmospheres
the people’s habits have generally remained the same. Whether it's going out
with rich friends on the Champs-Elysées where the entrance fee is 20 euros, a
beer costs 15 and your Asian friends are rejected by racist bouncers; or cool Stan
Smith appropriate bars in Pigalle or Strasbourg Saint-Denis, being Australian I
couldn't help but feel abnormally inhibited on the dance floor…
Something
was missing in the vibe. I think it comes back to what I mentioned earlier
about Parisians having to keep up this whole cool facade. I've never really see
them just let go and get loose. Probably in fear of being judged (fair enough
everyone is so judgemental here) but it can't be because they are timid. I
mean, unlike Australian guys, they have no problem complimenting complete
strangers and kissing girls on the lips when they exchange names. Of course
cultures differ, but what they do miss which Australian boys have, is the
capacity to just not care what people think and bloody dance! For example, I
was at a party at La Villette Enchantée for Halloween and I was at the front of
the 'mosh-pit' with a couple of French friends. First lesson I learned and I'm
glad I learnt it early.
Now this has happened to me so many times it's difficult not to generalise but unlike in Australia you never make friends or smile to strangers dancing around you. Literally bump or touch anyone on the dance floor and they will look at you like you've just killed their dog. You may get this "Excuse-moi, t'as une problème meuf? contrôle -toi!" ("Excuse-me girl do you have a problem!? Control yourself!") Or if you are unlucky like me and sometimes stare into empty spaces without blinking for long periods of time, not noticing you are even looking at someone, you may get this "Oui ello tu regardes mon mec!?" - ("Yeh you. Are you checking out my man?") Obviously I'm not going to reply saying “No bitch, he's ugly” because I value my two front teeth. But it's like I am in a complete alternate universe where being outgoing and friendly to strangers makes you a freak. Alternatively, take the typical Parisian and put them on a dance floor in Australia and they would stand out like Hagrid (due to their dance moves, or should I say, lack of.) I tried to explain my dilemma to my French friend, that here I can be abused for brushing up next to someone, but if the same thing happened in Australia the guy would turn around and say “Sorry c**t didn't see ya there” (embrace - cue PNAU.)
The typical Parisian girl is intimidating. They are generally overprotective of their boyfriends probably because some of them sleep around (unless it's the girl doing it herself.) The other thing I find bizarre is how casual they are. Entire friendship circles just sleep together. "So you guys are just friends?" - "Yes we have been best friends for six years. We have slept together, but we are just best friends"…I have the impression it's almost like a test run. Give your new good friend a go and if they're average then they become your best friend, if not date them. The other weekend I was out with a new French friend and she seemed pretty cosy with this one guy all night. It was getting pretty late and she told me she had to go so I asked: “You’re leaving without your boyfriend?” She replied “No, I'm going to meet him now.” (NO JOKE!!)
She obviously took the Spice Girls advice way too literally. I am one of the few here that agrees with the statement below.
Finally
I found the word that describes everything I'm trying to say about Parisians.
It describes how many of them act in nightclubs, act about sex, on the metro,
when shopping, about life in general. The word is called "blasé" which translates as someone
who isn't easily impressed, excited or worried by things, usually because they
have experienced them before. "His seemingly blasé attitude.” It can also
be described as being nonchalant (the typical nonchalant French shoulder shrug
followed by - "Bah non, Je m'en fou.") It is the opposite of caring,
enthusiastic, excited, interested, responsive and stimulated. (How Parisians
are on the metro…NOT) No, that's not fair, once a lady helped me on the metro,
but she was from Provence (ba dum ch) But I don't know what the hype is about
Russians never smiling because I've never received a smile from a Parisian on
the metro…. except from a dodgy looking guy, whose lighter I picked up when he
dropped it whilst trying to roll a joint.
This
is a blasé attitude:
However
they can be a little bit too blasé for my liking. There is a common joke:
"What do you call someone that speaks three languages? Tri-lingual.
"What do you call someone that speaks two languages? Bi-lingual, and what
do you call someone that speaks one language? French." It's just, I find
it so patronising every time you meet someone they say in a slow, condescending
tone "Tu parles super bien francaises" ("You speak very good
French.") Even though all I did was introduce myself, they just seem so surprised!
It's like, yes, in other countries it is normal to learn another language? They
just don't want to speak English and god forbid you speak French with an American
accent (you'd make more friends being mute.)
So if you made it to the end of this article or rant (because let's be honest, that's all blog posts are really) then you're probably thinking: “Shit! How has she lived there for 3.5 years if she's that fucking negative about Parisians? Well the truth is. I'm not! I love it here. You learn to love the differences and they do have many endearing qualities and customs you won't find in Australia… but I'll save that for another article.
To
all you Aussie battlers coming to Paris to study, learn French or (god help me)
find love, you thought Paris was this fairy tale? Just like the people who got
on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation...things aren't always as
they seem. I hope this has helped you get a head start on what to expect, steer
clear of, and be forced to appreciate. Remember, learn some French unless you
want to be lonely. When in doubt, wear black, and when clubbing keep the fist
pumping to a minimum. You're already going to stand out for being that tall,
loud Australian so don't make it harder on yourself by being the ridiculously
wasted one.
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